If you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, let us give you some tips that might help you get your relationship back in order. But let us tell you right away, it will not be as easy as you expect, so if you really want to get back together with her, you need to be prepared to make changes. If you are ready, then let’s get to it.
‘I need my ex back’. How many of us have thought about it? While not every relationship ends with either party wanting to get back together, more often than not, you might feel like you have lost something important and you cannot leave without it.
For that reason, we have prepared some important tips on what to do (and not to do) if you want to know how to get your girlfriend back. So check them out, give them a try, and hopefully things will work out your way.
Things not to do to get your ex back
Let’s start with the most important stuff: what you should not do if you want to get back together with your girlfriend.
First, if you broke up on good terms and you still see each other every now and again, casual post-breakup s*x is not the best way how to get back with ex. Moreover, it is one of the worse ways. If you want to rekindle that love and affection, getting frisky with each other will get you nowhere. It will not fix the reasons why you broke up, and it will only hurt more afterwards. So save yourself some pain and just do not do it.
Second, do not go hooking up with anyone else. While it might make you feel slightly better in the moment, if your ex finds out, there is very little chance you will get her back. If you still have feelings for her, avoid sleeping with other people until you either get back together, or you see that it is futile to even try. Trust us, it is for your own good.
Third, avoid pestering her and annoying her with calls, begging to take you back. If she sees how whiny and pathetic you can be, she will never want to get back with you. Give her space and time, as she most likely needs some time to deal with her feelings on her own. If it is possible, you should avoid contacting her in any way. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and she might realise herself that she is missing you.
Now that we have talked about things that require no effort at all, it is time to consider some of the more complicated solutions. Let’s discuss how to make your ex want you back.
How to get your ex back: useful tips
Ok, so you broke up, you have not been doing anything of what we have mentioned previously, and yet she is still not running back to you. What gives? Well, while you have shown that you can be considerate of her feelings, there is still much you need to change and improve to make her want you again. Here are some tips that can help you out:
- Consider the reason why you broke up. Was it initiated by her or by you? Did you mess up or did she need time to think? Depending on the answer, you need to act accordingly. There is no cookie cutter way to do this, no ‘one size fits all’, so you need to be the one who figures out what went wrong. You can also ask your friends (and hers, if they would want to talk to you) for advice, as a second opinion is always beneficial.
- Work on yourself. Take this time off from your relationship to improve yourself. If you have to change your whole personality for her, think twice whether you want to get back to the person who does not like you for you. However, if it is something minor, such as getting a few kilos off your middle, reading more books or finding new hobbies, go for it. If you just mope around in your underwear in a dirty apartment, even your mom will think twice before meeting you.
- Read the room. While we have told you not to try to contact your ex, especially right after the breakup, you cannot control what is happening on her side. If she happens to call you or run into you, take this as an opportunity to see whether there is still anything left between you. If she initiates contact, and does it often, you definitely have a chance. If she is as cold as can be, give it time and try again.
- Prove you have changed. This is particularly useful if you know why she dumped you. After you have worked on yourself to get rid of those shortcomings, make sure she knows about it. This can be done by dropping hints in the conversation with her or her friends (you definitely should not brag about it straight on). Prove it with your deeds as well, as words are just that, words.
- Try again. After both of you have had some time to think, it is time to give it another try. It is rather unlikely that she will make the first move if she wants to get back together, so take the matter into your own hands. Tell her about your feelings, let her know that you want your relationship back. Do not be too pushy, you need to be understanding if she does not want you back, but do not leave it in fate’s hands if you can do something about it.
- Accept defeat. If nothing works, if the burning passion is all but ash, know when to walk away. Nobody likes a pushy ex who does not know when to quit. If you have tried everything, and if your new and improved version of yourself is still not up to her liking, it is best to accept defeat with dignity before you embarrass yourself.
Putting things back together after they fall apart is never easy. There is no manual or tutorial that can guarantee you your girlfriend back. It can take you a lot of work, and you still might fail. However, it might sound cynical, but she might not be the only one for you, not when there are several billion other people out there. So whether you get her back or not, make sure you do not lose yourself in the process. Good luck and do what is best for you.